WoLaD: Birth of Hope Ch.33

"Wars of Light and Darkness"
By: Jade Lightning, a.k.a. Inuyashas-hanyougirl

Prelude: "Birth of Hope"

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Chapter 33: "A Reason to Be There"

   The tragedies that told the stories of the end of winter were now near distant, but still painful memories for those that Arandor left behind.  Sutei, Alamalie, Acadiar and the attending echidnas stayed in Valordian for several weeks.  Arandor was buried, and the village went into mourning.

   Sutei tried to keep the village together.  He and his sister spent their time trying to lift spirits, but there was only so much they could do.  After a month passed, Sutei needed to go home.  He was the new king of his own village, and his people needed him, even though their need wasn't nearly as dire.

   Alamalie stayed in Valordian for awhile longer.  Eventually, Ordiloku joined her, but only after Sutei came home.  Begging the village elders to let him go wasn't working.  Once Sutei returned, Ordiloku appealed to his best friend, and the king allowed him to go.  Acadiar had come home with him, along with the other echidnas that had carried Arandor's coffin that long way.  For a time, Alamalie and Ordiloku would be the only echidnas absent from the village.

   For the rest of Spring, Sutei would have nightly talks with his sister using their telepathy.  Shortly after Amarie's tenth birthday, Alamalie told him that she would be coming home soon.  Sutei wondered why.  Alamalie had stayed there to look after Hailamei.  He asked if this meant Hailamei was well enough to lead again.

   "That's not it Sutei.  …Ordi and I are bringing Amarie with us."

   Sutei opened his eyes.  He was standing at the edge of the village, watching the ocean.  The moon was full and lit up the night sky with a brilliant, pale glow.

   He was expecting Alamalie home that next morning.  Over the past few months the village had started to plan his and Kasaline's wedding.  The death of Arandor had only shaken the echidnas further.  Terrified of losing their king before he could leave an heir to succeed him, they were more than willing to let him marry Kasaline, even if she was only fourteen years old.  Her fifteenth birthday would come later that year, in the month of November.

   A chuckle escaped him.  Sutei was amused with how concerned the village was with him having a child.  Somehow he knew they couldn't expect less.  Acadiar, after all, fell in love with Kasaline's mother shortly after they buried Kashoku.  Five months later, Kasaline was born.  If Acadiar could start a family that quickly, it wasn't out of the question for Sutei.

   It tickled him.  He had no intention of going that fast.  However, he would pretend to if it meant he could marry Kasaline.

   "They don't understand," Sutei murmured to himself.  He kicked a lone pebble that rested beside him, watching as flew out into the ocean.  "Father is special in a way they will never know.  He didn't die because he was sick, or weak, or murdered," Sutei sighed.  He closed his eyes and hung his head.  "He sacrificed himself for us.  They may not understand it, but he's doing all of this so he can protect us all, and not just us, but everything."  Looking up and opening his eyes again, he stretched his arms high in the air, laughing to himself.  "I'm not going to die any time soon.  It's amazing how worked up everyone has become."

   Turning around, Sutei saw the last of the villagers exchanging goodbyes before entering their homes to go to sleep for the night.  He wondered if Kasaline would be able to get away to join him.  He wondered what was keeping Alamalie, and why she hadn't gotten in touch with him yet that night.

   He looked back to the ocean.  "They don't have to beg me to continue my lineage, but they won't rush me."

   A gust of wind blew by suddenly, causing Sutei to raise his arm to shield his face.  His cape, one made to look just like the one Kashoku wore, whipped violently in the breeze.  As he lowered his arm, he looked around in all directions.  The wind settled down again, and as he looked around he heard a voice.

   "Wise policy, my son."

   His blue eyes widened as Sutei looked around.  His eyes finally stopped once they reached the start to the path down the side of the cliff.  He stared in this direction, watching as his father materialized before him.

   A smile curled Sutei's lips.  "Father," he murmured.

   Arandor watched as Sutei ran to him, not pausing a moment between getting there and pulling his father into a hug, which the hedgehog returned.  "Oh Father, it's been months.  How are you?"

   "Yes, I know son.  I am sorry," Arandor murmured in reply.

   Sutei pulled back and shook his head.  "Don't apologize.  Just tell me how you're doing."

   A smile flirted with Arandor's lips.  "I'm feeling alright Sutei.  It's a little difficult coming back, but, that's part of healing…being able to come here without back pedaling on all the progress I've made.  The more that I move forward, the better I'll get."

   Sutei smiled, but looked around.  "Why didn't Uncle Shadow come with you?"

   Arandor lowered his eyes.  "Sutei, I needed to come back and see you.  You and your sisters are my children.  I can't get better without you in my life.  Shadow, though he loves you, and sends that affection through me now, coming here now won't do him much good.  Perhaps one day I can persuade him to come back."  Looking up, Arandor whispered, "We all heal in different ways.  I can't make any promises, but maybe one day you'll see him again."

   "I hope so," Sutei murmured.  He suddenly remembered why Alamalie was coming home.  He glanced at his father, and then turned away.

   "Sutei?  What's wrong?" Arandor asked.

   The echidna hung his head.  "I'm getting married, Father."

   Feeling his heart race, Arandor's eyes lit up, but only for a moment.  "And how is this a bad thing my son?"

   Sutei watched as Arandor walked around him so he could see Sutei's face again.  Once again, Sutei looked away.  "I was telling the good news hoping it could pick you up and hold you high when I had to drop the bad news."

   Arandor wouldn't stop until he was facing Sutei again.  "Stop that Sutei.  It doesn't matter what's happened to me.  If there's something you need to tell me, then tell me."

   "And you talk about not wanting to back pedal," Sutei murmured, shaking his head in disbelief.  Looking to Arandor, he tried his best to smile.  "Alamalie and Ordiloku have been staying in Valordian since they buried you.  A few days ago Alamalie told me she was coming home, and that she was bringing Amarie with her.  It's not just for the wedding either, Father."

   Sutei stared at him for a moment after he finished speaking, before looking away again.  Arandor felt confused, but more agitated than anything else.  "Sutei-Midoka, if there's something you need to tell me then say it and stop beating around the bush.  It won't save me either way."

   "It's Hailamei Father!" Sutei cried suddenly, whipping around.  "Father she, …she's dead.  She died a few days ago.  That's why Alamalie is coming home.  The only reason she is bringing Amarie is so she can come to the wedding.  I don't know what we're going to do about Valordian now!  Please!  Don't give me anything else to bear!"

   A sick gasp escaped Arandor as his eyes went blank.  Hailamei was dead?  How could this be so?  Only three months had passed.  She was so young, healthy, and beautiful.  What could have caused her to die?

   Gripping his throat, Arandor turned to sit down, leaning against a tree.  Sutei looked on in agony, feeling tears well up in his eyes.  He fell to his knees, holding his face with his hands.  "I'm sorry Father," he whimpered, "I didn't mean to blurt it out like that.  Things have been so stressful.  Everyone in the village is rushing me into a marriage, expecting me to produce a son incase I roll over and die one morning.  It's been hell having Alamalie gone, and then finding out that Hailamei died…I've been scrambling trying to figure out how I'll take care of Valordian until Amarie is old enough to rule.  Everyone for the most part wants me to forget about Valordian right now, and focus on what I need to do.  I've never been so confused and lost in my life.  Becoming one with my dear Kasaline is the only thing giving me hope now.  I just…I can't do it all.  I'm not like you are Father.  I wasn't born to be there for everyone like you were.  I'm sorry…"

   Arandor closed his eyes.  He felt his heart thump painfully in his chest.  He cringed, trying desperately to figure out why Hailamei had died.  He had lost her, just like he lost Mitsukai.  He felt terrible…Hailamei died thinking she would see him in Heaven.  Now that she was dead, she knew the truth.  He wondered if she hated him for his lies.

   But for the moment there was something else that Arandor couldn't ignore.

   He glanced at Sutei who sat beside him.  His legs were tucked up against his chest, his head balancing on his arms folded across his knees.  He was sobbing heavily, having a hard time catching his breath as he did so.  Arandor couldn't remember ever seeing Sutei this stricken with sadness.

   He swallowed hard.  Though he felt sick, Arandor's heart was moved by Sutei's despair.  Struggling to his knees, he inched his way over to the weeping echidna.  He put his arm around Sutei's back, intending to hold him, but both were so dazed and disoriented, Arandor fell backwards, pulling Sutei down with him.  By the time Arandor opened his eyes, he was again leaning against a tree, only now Sutei was laying in his lap, continuing to cry.

   In that moment, Arandor realized just how heavy the burden that he had left on his son's shoulders really was.  Once his hold on Sutei was secure, he pulled them both up a little higher.  Arandor continued to rest against the tree while he held his son in his lap.  He was so dazed he felt dizzy, but did his best to ignore his headache and the confusion causing it.

   He looked down at Sutei, who continued to sob.  Arandor gently stroked Sutei's head, letting his fingers drift down his long locks of hair.  As he did so, his heart continuing to hurt him, a smile curled his lips.

   "Sutei…," he whispered at last, his voice shaky as he trembled, "The last time you wept this way, I believe I was a different person entirely."

   Something motivated Sutei to lift his head.  He looked up at his father.  Both were weeping at this point, and Sutei was almost in awe of how well Arandor was handling the grief.

   Shaking his heavy head, Sutei whimpered, "All I see is my father, and he has always been there; always the same, never changing, except to improve."

   A defeated chuckle escaped Arandor.  "You are my son Sutei, my only son, and though that means you are strong, beautiful, and capable of doing whatever your heart's desire, I never denied I was placing a heavy burden on you.  It was too much for me to handle from the beginning.  It is unfair to leave you and expect you to handle it all," Arandor explained.  Looking away, he hung his head.  "What's done is done.  I cannot change it.  The burden should have been mine.  I'm doing the same thing to you…that my father did to me."

   Still laying in his father's lap, Sutei gazed up at his father.  Arandor had let his eyes drift back to the ocean.  He looked lost, as though he was nothing but an animated shell.  His soul was somewhere else, if it existed at all.

   "Father…please, I'm sorry.  Don't feel bad about me.  I can handle all of this, I promise," Sutei reassured him, desperate to keep Arandor from slipping away.  He quickly tried to sit up.

   However, Arandor kept his hold on Sutei, holding him close.  "No Sutei," Arandor said, shaking his head.  He chuckled again while Sutei looked on, confused.  Hanging his head again Arandor continued, "I realize now how my father felt when I shouted at him, and complained that he wasn't letting me live how I wanted to.  I was born so he could love me, but because Mukot learned how to create life, the burden was mine to kill Mukot one day, and now I can't, simply because I followed my heart.  Father just wanted to save me.  If I had gone to him when he begged me to, maybe things would have been different.  Now, I'm doing the same thing to you, my son.  You're stuck with things you were never meant to bear, but have no choice to, just because I love you."

   Sutei stared at him.  His throat began to hurt after breathing through his mouth dried it out.

   "But…but Father…I am not angry at you, nor have I ever been.  I-I love you," Sutei whimpered.  Arandor didn't answer him, and continued to stare off at the distance, blankly.  Sutei again tried to pull away from his father, just enough so he could return the embrace.  "Father I…I think Hailamei, simply died of a broken heart.  She never…never recovered after you were gone."

   Arandor's expression lit up for a brief moment at the mention of her name.

   When Arandor didn't reply, Sutei tried to get control of his breathing, the tears fading away gradually.  "Alamalie would tell me things at night.  For the first week or so she denied it, the idea that you were gone I mean.  After they buried that shell you left behind, I think it finally started to sink in.  I had to leave after the first month, but she had gotten quiet and sad pretty quickly.  She dressed in black every day, and didn't speak to anyone, not even Amarie.  The past two months I've had to deal with a village that is convinced there is a curse on nobility and that I have to pass on my lineage.  They also want me to stop worrying about Valordian.  Now that Hailamei is gone, I wonder what they'll say.  I guess…they think Valordian needs to pick up its own pieces."

   Closing his eyes, Arandor rubbed his head, feeling pain.  "What did I tell them?  They are supposed to look after their brethren.  This is not the time to be selfish."

   Sutei tried to smile.  "I think they'll change their minds, Father.  The Valordian hedgehogs have no one to lead them now.  It may have been different for them while Hailamei was alive.  They just…they didn't know how bad it was," Sutei explained.  He frowned again and looked away.  "Alamalie told me Hailamei just faded away slowly.  I think, Hailamei was gone the moment she found out you were.  We tried Father, really we did, especially Amarie.  It was like the grief was an illness, not unlike what killed Aunt Lulabei…just something impossible to stop.  I'm…I'm sorry."

   The echidna gazed at his father.  Sutei felt sickened knowing he had likely undone all of the progress Arandor had made in those past few months.  He and Arandor had slowly traded places, and now Sutei was the one embracing Arandor as they sat under the tree together.

   After a few moments, Sutei heard a heavy breath escape Arandor through a sigh.  He looked at his father, and saw his head hanging, his eyes closed.  "Hailamei," he murmured softly.  Looking up, he opened up his eyes.  "I am weak.  I was able to tell your mother the truth, but, I could not do the same for Hailamei.  She died thinking she would be reunited with me.  I can only hope there is no hatred in the afterlife, or else she will never love me again."

   "Oh Father," Sutei sighed, holding his father close, "Mother was dying.  You had covered up more and hid more of your true self from her.  You would be leaving your babies behind just so you could save yourself from an early death.  It was different then."

   Another sigh.  "I could have at least told her the truth."

   "Father, stop it," Sutei said again, "I made you promise me something before you left a few months ago.  What was that?"

   Arandor finally looked at him, his amber eyes barely alive with a glimmer of Light.  "You made me promise I would join you in the afterlife some day."

   Sutei nodded, a smile curling his lips.  "And I made you promise that to me, as well as yourself.  Hailamei knows that now.  She knows your suffering.  She can see how difficult this is for you Father, and she knows of that promise you made to me, yourself, and all of us."

   They were both frozen in this gaze they exchanged.  Arandor's eyes still quivered with tears.  He looked desperate to believe what Sutei was saying.

   Pulling his father into a warm hug, Sutei still smiled, and whispered, "She loves you Father.  There's nothing about any of this to give her cause to hate you.  Please, Father, you should feel better because she does know the truth now, and she still loves you even after all of this.  I'm sure if anything she's only sad because she knows it will be awhile before you can find the same peace that she has.  Please, Father, you must believe that this is the truth.  I know it.  Please listen to me."

   Arandor had closed his eyes.  Though his heart continued to pound, it began to hurt less and less.  What Sutei said made sense.  Still, it did little to do away with the guilt, the shame, the lies…

   "I love you…Arandor."

   A gasp escaped him.  He opened his eyes.

   "For your own sake, Arandor, try worrying about yourself for once."

   Sutei could feel Arandor's body tense up.  He pulled back, looking at his father, confused by the stunned look on it.  "Father?" he asked

   Arandor closed his eyes.

   "…Did Mitsukai teach you how to do this, Hailamei?"

   "Father?" Sutei asked again.  He began to worry.

   "Mitsukai…she is a lovely girl.  I feel we will be nothing less than best friends, and sisters."

   Arandor felt his heart race.  He slowly smiled.

   "You both should take care of each other. I put you through a lot."

   "Father?  Please, what's wrong?" Sutei asked.  Though Arandor smiled, Sutei still feared for him.  The silence was deafening.  The smile looked peaceful, welcoming of death.

   "But we still love you for it Arandor.  I couldn't hate you even if I wanted to."

   Arandor's smile weakened.

   "You don't hate me for lying to you?"

   "Father?!  Please!" Sutei cried.

   Alamalie ran up behind him, hearing his cries as she returned to the village.  "Sutei?  What is it?"

   "You never lied Arandor.  You simply chose not to tell me what was going on.  I doubt I would have understood it anyway.  I would have lived my life afraid of losing you, instead of loving you as strongly as you loved me."

   Sutei looked at Alamalie as she knelt down.  "It's Father.  I told him about Hailamei and I felt he was getting better but…now he's got his eyes closed and won't answer me," Sutei explained.

   Alamalie looked at her father.  She gently touched his face.  "Father?" she asked, "Are you alright?"

   "But still, I lied to you the last time I saw you.  I knew that I was going to have to leave you.  I was able to tell the children, and even Acadiar, but I couldn't find it in me to tell you.  I feel horrible."

   Arandor's body began to relax, falling in on Sutei as they sat together.

   "Father!" Sutei cried again, more panicked than ever.

   Alamalie whispered, "Shh Sutei!  Someone will hear you!"

   "I don't care!" Sutei cried in a pained whisper.

   "Your children need their Father.  I know everything now, and I feel I'm more good to you as an angel than I ever was in life.  Now, I can truly understand your heart and feel your suffering.  Oh Arandor, I love you dearly.  Don't you ever believe otherwise.  Listen to your children.  Both Mitsukai and I are there for you through them, even while we watch over you.  Besides, you made a promise to yourself, right?"

   "…Yes…I did."

   "Will you keep it Arandor?  If you do, then you can go on living, knowing one day you'll make good on that promise."

   By now, Acadiar had heard the panicked cries of Sutei and Alamalie, and had found them.  Kneeling down beside them, he asked, "What in the world has happened?"

   "Sutei said Father just…stopped responding to him," Alamalie stammered, not knowing what to say.

   "Father, please, what's wrong with you?" Sutei whimpered again, feeling his strength slip away.

   Arandor was in a different place, but not for long.  They saw him smile again.

   "Of course I'll keep it.  Even more is my purpose in life to return to you and those I love, than it is to protect what's left of this world.  Even if Mukot is destroyed and the balance of Light and Darkness preserved, I won't have had the true victory until I'm reunited with you.  Even if I must contest the ruler of immortality himself, I will defeat it, and be with you again."

   Little Amarie, who woke up from a Light sleep after Ordiloku left her to find Alamalie, came running around the corner, curious after hearing her father's name.

   "Daddy?" she asked, confused when she saw him unmoving in her brother's lap.

   Everyone looked at her.  The past few days were not kind to the ten-year-old, now an orphan, a unique case just like her older half-siblings, having a father all too special who could be with them, but only in secret.  She knelt down beside Sutei and her father.  Seeing Arandor made her little heart race, having one parent back after tragically losing the other.

   For some reason she ignored the panic felt by the others, and simply laid down beside him, putting an arm around him to hug while she curled up next to his body.  She closed her eyes, yawning as she sighed happily.  "Daddy," she whispered, "You're back.  Tell Mama I love her."

   A gasp escaped the remaining three, confused by what she said.

   "What are you talking about Amarie?" Sutei asked.

   Amarie opened one eye and simply giggled before closing it again.

   "Be strong my Arandor.  You know I will always love you.  Nothing can defeat you now.  There is no one in this world that is stronger than you."

   "Stop that Amarie.  What are you talking about?" Sutei asked again.

   "I could name five people that are stronger than me…well…six.  Oh well, I trust you Hailamei, I promise you that.  Spend your time comforting our daughter.  She loves you dearly.  My poor children shouldn't have to be without their mothers."

   "I know Arandor…I know.  I can look after all of you now, along with Mitsukai.  …Pass Lulabei's love to Shadow as well.  He needs it the most."

   "I-I will, Hailamei."

   "Amarie!" Alamalie cried again.

   A giggle escaped Amarie, but she didn't open her eyes.  "Daddy's talking to Mama.  His spirit is mingling with hers on the edge of this world and the next.  He'll wake up in a minute."

   "What?" Sutei asked, stunned by what Amarie said.

   Alamalie was the only one who didn't gasp.  Sutei looked to her.  "Father said that Amarie has a connection to the next world.  Remember?  If he was still the Pure Light he could cross the boundaries at will.  The Light within Amarie is that pure, but she doesn't have the powers that it would act upon to allow her to fully pass it, the powers that you possess," she explained.

   "Which means she can only get a hint of that ability," Sutei murmured, looking down at his sister.  Amarie continued to smile, cuddled up next to her father.  "She must not be able to participate either."

   "Perhaps once she's older and can be taught she'll be able to.  Obviously Father still has a touch of that power or else he wouldn't be in a heavy trance like this.  That's probably why Aunt Lulabei hasn't been talking to Uncle Shadow all this time.  He doesn't have that ability, even a touch of it," Alamalie replied.

   Acadiar stared at Arandor.  "How long will he lay there?"

   "Hee hee…I think you should go back now, Arandor."

   "…I didn't think I could meet anyone…from beyond."

   "The Light has faded but it's not gone completely Arandor.  I know you'll find it again someday.  Until then, do what you must, but remember to always take a moment to be selfish.  None of us want to see you ignoring your own hurts, while you give all of your soul to healing the wounds of others.  We love you.  Remember that."

   "Yes Hailamei…I know.  I don't know if I can be selfish, but…"

   "Don't let yourself become sad.  You cannot die.  You must live, and by that I mean you must really live.  You cannot become a broken soul in a shell.  That is why I'm praying to you now."

   "…You knew just what I needed.  …Indeed, I will stay here, and I will live, for them, …and myself."

   "Don't forget your promise Arandor.  Don't forget the love.  Don't forget any of it, for as long as you live.  Go on now, and be happy."

   "I guess I should…they're probably terrified."

   "Open your eyes Arandor.  Wake up now."

   "I…I can't keep my eyes closed…"

   "Wake up.  You must live now.  You must live."

   Arandor began to wake up, no longer under the heavy trance that had arrested him.  He felt an arm around his chest as he rested in the lap of another, while the hand of a third person gently stroked his brow.

   "He's waking up," the owner of the hand whispered softly.

   "Shh," he heard the owner of the lap hush in reply.

   He opened his eyes, but only after turning his head to face the person cuddled beside him.  As his vision cleared, he saw Amarie open her tired eyes at the same time.  She smiled then giggled softly.  "I heard you talking to Mama," she whispered.

   A grin curled Arandor's lips.  He briefly glanced at everyone around him, before reaching to brush his fingers over Amarie's face.  "Did you?" he whispered in reply.  She nodded as best she could, causing him to chuckle.  "Indeed…for those touched by Light, death is a barricade easy to cross, if not fully."

   A sigh of relief escaped Sutei.  "Oh Father, I was terrified for you.  I had no idea what was going on."

   Arandor glanced at Sutei briefly, before he started to sit up.  He felt Acadiar brace him and help him rise.  A chuckle escaped him.  Acadiar was the only one who could see his face for a moment, and Sutei and Alamalie watched as Acadiar's face lit up with hope.  He glanced at them, a smile flirting with his lips.  Arandor turned around, and they saw why Acadiar looked hopeful.

   The Light in his eyes was strong again, and he smiled.  "Looks like I drifted off at a bad time.  Sorry."

   Amarie, though tired, sat up and giggled, scooting over to her father so she could hug him. "It's okay Daddy.  You needed to talk to Mama."

   Arandor pulled back and looked at her with one eye closed, grinning.  "I doubt I'm the only one that heard all that."

   With a giggle and a yawn, Amarie cuddled close to her father and whispered, "I can't talk back like you can Daddy.  I can only listen."

   His smile faltered a bit, but didn't fade.  Kissing Amarie on her head, he rose to his feet, holding her in his arms.  "That will change my little Light child.  I will teach you."

   Sutei and Alamalie got up, glancing at each other before Alamalie asked, "Teach her?  Something like that is learned?"

   "It's not something anyone can learn," Arandor replied, gently rocking his young daughter, "You either have the ability, or don't.  However, it'll take a little to learn how to respond.  You must learn to allow your soul to fully connect to the one you're talking to.  I could have sat there and let Hailamei talk to me, kind of like how a child stands at the door and listens to their parents talk.  I went into that trance like I did, because I allowed my spirit to connect to hers.  It's not a learned ability.  It's just…it's learning to let your soul escape your control and mingle beyond your normal boundaries."

   Alamalie was silent.  She glanced at her brother, a small smile on her face.  Sutei returned the look, letting a soft sigh escape him.  He walked up to his father and whispered, "That's alright with me Father.  Somehow I think that's what you needed to have happen."

   Arandor, who was turned away from Sutei, felt his back go rigid, along with his ears.  Turning around, he shook his head, though he smiled.  "It was quite different from talking to your mother all those years ago.  I didn't have to submit to a heavy trance, and I was able to walk as I talked with her."  Looking down, Arandor's smile weakened.  "It goes to show how greatly I have been crippled by the years.  Perhaps a journey to a new galaxy is what I need."

  "What?" Acadiar asked, alarmed.

  "What are you saying?" Alamalie cried, running up to her father.

   Sutei didn't reply.  He simply stared at his father with a look of dread.

   Arandor glanced at them, and laughed suddenly.  "It's far beyond your comprehension I assure you," he answered.  He glanced at Amarie, now fast asleep, before slowly sitting back down, leaning against the tree.  "I can't be seen in the village, so, I think maybe we'll talk about this later…when you're not busy planning Sutei's wedding and coming up with a plan for Valordian that is."

   "Father…," Sutei sighed, closing his eyes.

   Acadiar and Alamalie glanced at each other.  "Father, you don't intend to stay out here all night do you?" Alamalie asked.

   "That was my plan.  I can't count on hiding myself with Light.  Even if only your mother was able to see through the veil, I won't risk it, especially if I'm so weakened it took a heavy trance to communicate with Hailamei.  No I think…I'll stay right here."

   Alamalie and Sutei glanced at each other.  Poor Sutei looked distraught, but knew better than to try and argue with his father.  Kneeling down beside Arandor, he asked, "Well, Father, what will you do tomorrow, and the next day?"

   Arandor opened his eyes.  He looked at Sutei and said, "I don't know.  Perhaps I'll teach Amarie how to communicate with those in the afterlife.  Perhaps I'll come up with a plan for Valordian that you can carry out.  Indeed; until the day for your wedding comes, I don't know what I'll do."  Looking down to Amarie, Arandor murmured, "I came here to see you, hoping I'd…I don't know.  I'm here, and now maybe I'm understanding…that once you're dead, you're better off gone."

   "No!" Sutei cried.

   "Please don't say that Father, I can't take it!" Alamalie cried.  She dropped to her knees, crawling to the other side of Arandor and holding on to him tightly.

   "Come now Alamalie, you see the awkwardness of all this.  I can't live among you.  I can only live as a shadow, and shadows do not speak," Arandor replied, looking to her.  "This is all practice for how I will endure eternity, for I refuse to forge bonds with people I must lose, and yet at the same time, will need me."

   "No," Alamalie whimpered, burying her face in the hair hanging on Arandor's shoulder.

   Acadiar sat down and said, "Come on you two, this isn't fair.  Arandor told you how it would have to be.  You're not making this any easier on him."

   "Shut up!" Alamalie snapped, glaring at Acadiar.

   "Knock it off Alamalie!" Sutei shouted, defending his future father-in-law.

   "Enough!" Arandor cried softly.  "Damn it all, someone is going to hear you!"

   Everyone froze, looking to Arandor as he sat unmoving, his eyes closed and his neck bent.  Opening his eyes, he looked at them all.  "Perhaps the only one I should have kept ties with is Amarie.  It seems she is the only one happy to see me."

   "What?" Alamalie asked.

   "Father, how could you say this?" Sutei asked.

   Arandor sighed, shaking his head.  "You must acknowledge me as nothing but a spirit, for that is all I can be, nothing more," he said with a sigh.  "Please, I don't want to cause anymore distress.  Already my son is suffering under the burden of my legacy, all of my children feeling lost without me.  I have to teach you…how to live without me."

   Acadiar lowered his eyes, shaking his head.  "You think it'll be easier for them to grow up and move on without you here, don't you?"

   "It won't do them any good constantly leaning on me.  I will become their weakness, even more than I am already," Arandor murmured, "It is different for you, I think, Acadiar.  You aren't so dependent on me, trying to live up to this grand image you have of me in your head, one that isn't true.  My welfare isn't the number one thought in your head.  If I were to sneeze they'd come running with a handkerchief.  If I wept, they'd grieve until I smiled again.  Everything they do they'll want to know if I approve.  I'm a vice.  You don't see them looking to their mother in everything they do."

   "Daddy stop it," Alamalie sobbed, crying her eyes out.

   "You liar," Sutei snapped.  He quickly stood up and ran to the edge of the cliff.

   "It's the truth Sutei.  You worry more for me then you do yourself.  Earlier you apologized to me for failing me, pleading for me not to give you any more responsibilities.  I told you before you could never do me wrong, and here you're terrified of hurting me.  I am crippling you Sutei.  That's all there is to it.  There's a reason people don't come back from the dead, especially if they can't stay, teasing people with visits.  If they did, we would never heal from their absence.  This is why Mitsukai didn't keep contacting me.  She knew I needed to learn to live without her," Arandor explained.

   Sutei turned around and glared at Arandor.  Alamalie looked up at her brother.  She had never seen such an angry look on his face.  Acadiar shivered; he feared for a moment what would happen next.

   Turning around, Sutei thundered over to the group and jumped down to his knees, staring his father down.  "You think you know so much, well you don't!" Sutei hissed, "I fear for hurting you yes, but only because I love you.  You aren't a vice nor will you ever be.  If you don't want to come here then that's fine with me, but don't come here and talk down about yourself, moaning about how you're crippling me.  If it weren't for you I wouldn't be who I am.  I wouldn't even be here.  I'm proud of that blood that you seem to detest, hating yourself for things beyond your control.  You can either come here and let us love you, or you can go to a different galaxy and wither.  Go ahead and break that promise.  I don't care.  It won't change a thing.  I'll rule this village, and protect Valordian.  I'll always be proud to be your son, and I will always love you, whether you come to me or not.  Coming or staying won't change a thing."

   "Sutei…," Alamalie whispered.

   Arandor didn't flinch, and simply continued the stare down with his son.  Sutei didn't budge, holding his ground.

   After a moment, a smile curled Arandor's lips.

   Sutei's eyebrows bent in confusion.

   A small chuckle escaped Arandor.  Taking Amarie, he rested her on the grass behind him, before turning to embrace Sutei.  "You are indeed my son, steadfast, holding on to what matters.  I think…you are right.  You are strong enough to handle what you've been given."

   "Huh?" Sutei asked, trembling.

   "You broke down earlier fearing you had failed me.  My distress came from thinking I had put too much on your shoulders.  I feel better now, for you have proved me, and yourself wrong.  Not only did you stand up to me, showing no fear, but you were willing to do whatever you had to in order to prove that love and admiration.  Therefore, all you've been given to do is worth it; you'll do whatever you have to to get the job done…to do yourself proud…to do me proud," Arandor explained, still smiling.

   Alamalie got up slowly, drying the tears from her eyes.  "Were you testing him or something Father?"

   Arandor glanced at her.  "Can't say it was a test per say, for that's not what I was intending to do," he replied.  He pulled away from Sutei a little to look at him, and then added, "I was really worried that coming here was doing you more harm than good, Sutei crumbling at the thought of hurting me, and you sobbing when I spoke of such things.  Sutei stood up and told me that isn't how it is, and that he wasn't going to take such a mentality from me.  I either have to start behaving myself or he won't stand for me being here to drag everyone down."

   "Father," Sutei murmured, shaking his head as he sighed.

   "No, that's what you were saying, and you know it," Arandor insisted.  He smiled, and embracing Sutei again, he added, "I have no problem staying out here all night.  We can talk in the morning.  You take as long as you need to plan that wedding of yours.  You shouldn't let the village elders boss you around.  Why not try asking them how I'd react to all this if I were here.  I doubt they'd be carrying on this way."

   Acadiar laughed.  "Of course not.  They wouldn't have this fear of premature death hanging over them."

   Arandor grinned, looking to him.  Sutei sighed, "I've tried Father, I just…"

   "No, you stand up to them like you stood up to me," Arandor insisted, looking back to his son.  "Before I left I decreed that while the elders would keep order, the final law rested in the hands of the Guardians.  It's your decision Sutei.  You are more than capable, a king worthy of his title.  You must remember I was only a little older than you when Mitsukai's father died.  I was king no less than a month later.  They all believe in you.  You don't have to impersonate me.  You lead the village how you see fit, and remember that all decisions are in your hands."

   "And in mine once I'm old enough," Alamalie teased.

   Sutei gave her a look, sighing a little.

   Arandor pulled Sutei into one more hug and said, "Be strong my son.   All I ever did was out of love for the villagers.  I wanted to lead them into times of peace.  I wanted to show them the world around them.   You are living in the afterglow of all I did.  All you must do is be there for your people.  You don't have to do anything terribly great to impress them.  I'm certain you already have.  Just remind them, and the elders if they give you trouble, that no matter what you do, your father is always proud."

   "Father I…," Sutei whispered, at a sudden loss for words.  He returned the embrace and closed his eyes.  "I…I love you Father."

   "And I love you Sutei.  Speaking with Hailamei got me over a great sorrow.  Hopefully, spending time with all of you now will help me more," Arandor replied.  He pulled back, looking at them.  "Go on now, back to your homes.  Don't worry about me.  I think I'll take the time and give Shadow a nudge, letting him know how you're doing."

   Sutei simply nodded, and turned to go pick up Amarie so he could carry her home.  Acadiar took off, but Alamalie lingered.  "You'll be alright out here Father?" she asked again.

   Arandor smiled.  "If you are alright without me, I'll be alright until morning."

   Alamalie smiled, nodding.  She gave Arandor a kiss on the cheek before leaving to catch up to the others.  She paused and said, "Do you think I could talk to you about Ordiloku before you go?"

   "I suppose so," Arandor said with a grin.

   "Oh Daddy," Alamalie teased.  She paused, then whispered, "Goodnight Daddy," before turning and running back to the village.

   Arandor watched them leave.  A sigh escaped him when he was alone again.  He looked down to the path down the cliff, and decided to go sit on the beach, knowing he wouldn't be spotted there.  When he arrived, he sat against the cliff wall, and looked up to the starry sky.

   Another sigh escaped him.  He felt better about Hailamei, but then he realized that he really had little reason to be there.  How much longer could it be, before he stopped coming back?  Would he ever find a reason to?  Could he ever explain to his children why he could no longer come?

   Would he simply have to fake his death again?

   He sighed again, feeling lost.

   "Hey Shadow?  Can you hear me?"

   He closed his eyes and waited.

   "Arandor…yes…are you alright?"

   He smiled, but it was bittersweet.

   "I'm okay…I guess.  …We've got to talk about something."

   Far away in Blackfire, Mukot listened in on all that was happening.  He had not detected Kalak's plan to send Arandor and Shadow to Purity Galaxy, at least not until Arandor had mentioned it that night, and again as he talked to Shadow.

   It gave Mukot an idea.

   "Arandor wants to disappear so badly, perhaps I can do that for him.  We'll kill Shadow too so he won't be lonely," Mukot cackled.

   Zinthur chuckled a bit, then asked, "Ah yes Master Mukot.  What are your plans?"

   A gleam flashed in Mukot's blood red eyes.

   "Zinthur…send for the boys.  I really wanted to hide them a little longer, but, how can I deny them the chance to kill those bratty sons of Kalak?  Go…tell them I have plans for them."

   The Malevil Warrior bowed his head and left, cackling the entire way.  Meanwhile, Mukot looked back to the window beside him, his far-seeing gaze fixed on Arandor and Shadow as they talked, and Kalak as he tried to figure out how to protect them.

   "You want to disappear Arandor…well, good old Uncle Mukot is gonna do just that.  Just wait and see.  Heh heh."